A Mother's Words

By mold recovery 5/05/2011 , 8 comments
It's hard to put words to our experience. Words that come to mind are:

Despair
Confusion
Desperation
Loneliness

Then there are the words and phrases of others. Words of medical professionals, friends, family, and strangers.

"You're enabling him."

"Don't make his illness about you."

"You're reading too much."

"Your kids want attention."

"Mold is everywhere."

"Are you sure?"

"Why don't you...?"

Or this recent email:

When I heard your troubles about the mold and leaving your house and all of that, I thought to myself, "What a bunch of high-maintenance hypochondriacs."

As I reflect on these words and so many others, I think of my own insensitive comments over the years and relate to Pip's gracious response to Miss Havisham's plea for forgiveness in the book Great Expectations.

O Miss Havisham... There have been sore mistakes... and I want forgiveness and direction far too much to be bitter with you.

I also think of my mom. I think about our phone conversations as I was driving to and from doctor appointments... as I was waiting for surgeries to end... as we were fleeing our home... as we were searching desperately for a safe place to live.

The only words I can remember are these:

"You're doing great."

"You couldn't be doing any better."

"I admire you."

"I'm proud of you."

My mother died suddenly two years ago. I talked with her for the last time on Mother's Day, 2009.

I miss her voice. And oh, how I miss her words.

8 comments :

  1. Debby W. from TNMay 5, 2011 at 9:03 AM

    I have experienced some of the same insensitive comments from folks who don't understand what fibromyalgia does to a person. My heart goes out to you! May you always remember your Mom's (and others') ENCOURAGING words, and forget the insensitive words people speak to you. God bless you in this journey you are on, and may HE comfort your heart.

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  2. BethMay 5, 2011 at 10:05 AM

    I also have an encouraging Mom. I am so sorry for your loss. I remember when she died and you and Chris wrote about her. I don't see how anyone could call you hypochondriacs after reading the list of diseases that your children were diagnosed with! You are a blessing to so many of us who are looking for answers to our family's symptoms. Please don't let the foolish people get you down.

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  3. sweetnikaMay 5, 2011 at 10:48 AM

    you are doing great.. I admire you too.. i am thankful to you for all you are doing for the love of your GOD and your blessings..

    you must have had a wonderful example for a mother.. :) ((((hugs)))
    I am sure you miss her

    thinking of you often.. thankful for you and your lovely family

    great post

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  4. Sarah @ living with mold illnessMay 5, 2011 at 10:49 AM

    Your mother sounds like she was a very special lady Andrea, just like you are. I am so sorry you are without her now. Thank you for being that encouraging word to many...over and over again.

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  5. gkMay 5, 2011 at 12:47 PM

    Beautiful......pop

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  6. AnonymousMay 5, 2011 at 2:51 PM

    Andrea,
    I'm so thankful for you and for your mother who was so encouraging... her words continue to resonate in your soul, lifting you up every day. I too, am sorry she's not here to celebrate your family's recovery and offer comfort on the tough days. Thank you for choosing to be gracious by forgiving those who aim to wound.
    Be blessed this Mother's Day... for you certainly are a blessing to so many! kt

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  7. AnonymousMay 6, 2011 at 3:30 PM

    Whenever I read something about suffering, I remember your family almost immediately. I have always followed your blog and been blessed by what you have sharing. It has helped me have courage to face challenges , weak as I may be.
    I thank God for you. Sometimes I imagine what comfort it is just being your child. Your children are blessed to have you as their mom.

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  8. Marilynn StebbinsMay 10, 2011 at 1:09 AM

    Marilynn Stebbins I have tears as I read the insensitive comment and the 'a Mother's Words' I just wish I could give you a hug as I can't seem to put into words how your blog is ministering to me. 'There is a Day' was difficult for me to sing on Sunday AM in church,without choking up and shedding tears . You Tube will hopefully bless and comfort your heart better than my words ever could with this song. I also played 'How firm a foundation that you had posted and we were so blessed . I am so sorry for the loss of your mother. Many prayers

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