I used to have assumptions about life. I didn't realize it, of course. I watched friends get cancer, went to funerals for children, and heard about unfathomable tragedies. Still, I had a seat reserved in the "smooth travel" section of life.
It wasn't just a seat, it was an entire section. All 11 of us were entitled to ride comfortably.
When we got hit by our house I began to see the truth. That life has no guarantees. There's no guarantee that our family will walk away from this with health restored. There's no guarantee we'll make it through financially solvent.
I no longer assume.
So when Ryan came to me yesterday and said he made me a CD, I knew I wanted to listen immediately. With him. "It will take you down memory lane, Mom. Your memory lane." He smiled. These were going to be old songs. I smiled back.
I wasn't feeling well. I had to lie down. Ryan brought in our little CD player, sat on our air mattress, and popped in the CD.
Ryan just graduated High School. The sudden death of my mom kept me from the privilege of watching him walk across the stage to receive his well-earned diploma. But, by that time, I had let go of my assumptions and was traveling coach. Standby.
Ryan was headed for the New York Conservatory for Dramatic Arts until he realized his health and lack of financial resources prohibited him from going. I think he's traveling coach now too.
And so we listened. Together. To Joni Mitchell, Neil Diamond, and James Taylor.
When I heard James Taylor's voice sing "Fire and Rain," the tears started to fall. Gently streaming down my face with my son watching. And knowing.
That fire and rain come to each one of us. The loss of a loved one or a shattered dream.
"I've seen sunny days that I thought would never end
I've seen lonely times when I could not find a friend"
The rest of yesterday was hard. Very hard.
But I didn't miss James Taylor or Ryan. I might have. If I hadn't changed seats.
Andrea, what a powerful commentary on life: no assumptions, no guarantees. And what a contrast between the uncertainties of this life and the certainty of God and His life in us. I wonder if your being present in the moment with your son and the music is a picture of God "with us"--always present in whatever moment we give Him access to our lives. How much fuller and richer would our lives be if we were truly present with each other and with God?
ReplyDeleteAndrea,
ReplyDeleteI feel awful..I just read your commentary and didn't realize you lost your mom just recently..so sorry! Please know that the one part of the song isn't true...because I know you've seen lonely nights but you know you can always find a friend....love reading your thoughts makes me feel like we are still having our "coffee mornings". Still have lots of prayers for you and your beautiful family....Love, Susan Szilagyi
Oh Andrea.....again..thank you for your heart...your vulnerability. Here in Ohio we have been on stand by for quite sometime....I keep saying I would like to have no worries in our days. BUT...if that happens will I stop leaning on my Christ...my Rock...will I believe I can do life alone? we know better ~ but it is still so hard, so difficult. Thank you for admitting your brokenness to the whole world..and especially to yourself and your Saviour. blessings on the week to come.
ReplyDeleteAndrea, people you don't even know are praying for you and your family every day....people like me. And yes, you named it perfectly when you called it "standby." My husband has been out of work for two years, we've moved twice since then, and we're learning more about standby all the time.
ReplyDeleteHope today is a better day for you.
Andrea,
ReplyDeleteI have been following your blog over the last year. As I have read of your physical and emotional trials, your perspective and determination never ceases to amaze me. I can't even imagine the strain this journey has been, but as an outsider looking in, please know a few things. First, your honest and deep faith in God is so evident. I so appreciate your family's ability to communicate. Second, you and Chris have done a great job raising your kids. The stories you share of their love for you and each other is so tender. I usually cry while reading your blog. Lastly, your determination is inspiring. As a mom, I understand that raw fight within you to protect your babies. Hang in there, girl. So many people are rooting for the Fabry's!
Love,
Carrie Finkill