The Arizona Blues

9 comments
Despite the Arizona sunshine, we've been experiencing the January blues lately. All the vitamin D in the world can't eradicate the discouragement that comes over us at times like these. This journey is just so painfully long. Full of setbacks. And uncertainty.

As one of my older daughters wrote this week,

"Reality is, we’re all just coming off of a near-death experience, and a year and a half of rehab is only the beginning. Reagan’s dizziness is ever-apparent. My mother is still constantly forgetting where she put her keys. Colin’s blood sugars are sky high for no apparent reason. Tempers flare at alarming rates, and spirits are overall very low."

Earlier this week we talked about moving back to Colorado. Excitement and relief coursed through our veins as we pictured ourselves with friends and familiarity by the fall.

But it's January. And we're not moving anytime soon.

Reagan woke me up the other night. Not with dizziness. But with depression. We strategized about solutions. (I easily resort to the "I must fix it" mentality.) He sighed,

"I think I need to find something inside myself and just get through."

His thought reminds me of the words of songwriter Jackson Browne,

"The only way through it, is through it."

No airlift. No underground tunnel. Just plodding and plowing. One desert day at a time.

"Sometimes when we plead for our adverse circumstances to change, God simply makes us content where we are. Many saints have found riches in poverty, ease in labor, rest in pain, and delight in affliction. Our Lord can so adapt our minds our circumstances, that the bitter is sweet, and the burden is light." --Charles Spurgeon

9 comments :

  1. joys in our sorrows, peace in our pain....

    yes, deep in the rehab I can only imagine the blues.. And finding that elusive "JOY" and "PEACE" is often like catching a feather in the wind... you've almost got it almost...almost... but... not... and perhaps are growing weary in the struggle...

    I am growing in Grace... I feel like I am beginning, just beginning the understanding of it... I did not know, how very little I understood about it, until our own trials grew... How it is by this Grace I am saved ... DAILY... and from all sorts of things... the how, the how exstenively.. how practically.. just seeing it.. more in my life than in my head, .... it's a differerent sort of understanding for me...

    We are battling the same blues in the cold windy winter of chicago... so will be praying for you, because frankly, it's so NICE to know... that we are not alone :) (not that we'd WANT you to be there... just nice that we are not alone in shades of blue... )

    on the hunt for shades of pink....
    because Buddy says pink is the color that fills your cheeks when you smile a lot, or laugh really hard...
    so ... we're on the hunt.. for shades of pink :) Hope you find some shades of pink this week too...
    you all are so loved........
    really ! you are!

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  2. Hang in there! One day things will be different. I continue to keep you guys in my prayers.

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  3. Andrea, my heart goes out to you all...the long days of January are difficult at best, but when you add into it the uphill stuggles, it is extra rough. I really believe that you folks are always taking the "high road,".... the one that is marked well with spiritual road signs that say things like:
    "I will never leave you or forsake you...Jesus," and "take heart, I have overcome the world!...Jesus."
    Hang in there...we are pulling for you guys, and praying that you will always be able to put one foot in front of the other!
    Big hugs,
    Ruth

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  4. Wow, how we are seeing the Lord bring you and your family to a new spiritual plane through this adversity. I pray for you to continue to grow on this journey like the saints described by Charles Spurgeon. I, too, have seen a transformation in my own heart during my times of pleading to the Lord in the adverse circumstances of MCS and CFS. Please pray that I would continue to grow in contentment and have "delight in afflictions"!
    Thanks,
    Diana

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  5. Andrea,
    I just found your blog after talking to my friend Tonya tonight. I had been reading her blog after just rediscovering it a few days ago and she had so many symptoms and test like I have had. I have not be well since Aug of 2007. I will be calling my doctor tommorrow and asking to have the blood work done. I am sure I will have more questions if I get positive results. Thanks for starting this blog and informing others.

    Stacy

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  6. Stacy,
    I'm so glad you're getting answers. Good for you! Please let me know if I can help in any way,
    Andrea

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  7. Andrea,

    The children and I prayed for your family this morning. So much of this post I can relate to. The Lord has changed me so much since my illness began; SLOWLY learning to find joy the midst of my circumstances (so hard when you don't feel well). Took me years to get to this point, though. Love the Spurgeon quote. I also like Elisabeth Elliot's "Do the next thing." This often helps me from being overwhelmed by the road ahead.

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  8. We think of you and pray for you everyday! We too have had those same thoughts regarding Alex and our life. We would absolutely LOVE it if you came back to Colorado but all in the right time. Please know we think of you and never forget you all even though you are so far away. Prayers are ever present.

    Andrew, Stephanie, Katelyn, and Alex

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  9. Hi Andrea - I remember several years ago when you told me that while I'm in depression, to BE in it. I've come to understand that on so many levels though it was confusing to me at the time. There is much to be learned and absorbed while in that state and God is faithful to use it well if I let Him. Of course, being healthy is much better but when depression does hit, I can BE in it and not dread it so much.

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