House Hunt

We are in the middle of a house hunt. The search feels rocky and unsettling. Our current lease ends August 31, and we feel it's time to move forward. We're in a position to purchase a home after a long financial recovery. (Thankfully we avoided foreclosure on our Colorado home. Read more here.)

Our present search brings back the pain of the past. One thing I know for sure: I will listen to my instincts. I learned this lesson the hard way, as I recount in a previous post titled Haunted House Hunt, excerpted below.

I remember getting off the interstate 50 minutes after arriving in Denver. We were meeting our realtor to do a walk-through. For some reason I felt apprehensive. We drove up to the house, in a new development with lots of homes under construction. I noticed boys riding their bikes on the mounds of dirt.

We walked through the front door and I felt "it" immediately. Disarray and clutter. The house felt "dirty." I felt uncomfortable. Assuming I was just reacting to the overbearing, gaudy decorating style, I continued the tour. We walked into each of the six bedrooms, the game room, the in-law suite. With each room I became increasingly uneasy. Instead of feeling just messy and dark, the house felt deeply oppressive.

As we drove away I looked at Chris and said, "I don't like it. I don't ever want to go back. I know I can't live there."

We spent two more days looking for the right home and didn't find it. We returned to Illinois unsure of our next step.

Our realtor emailed us, suggesting we reconsider the 5500-square-foot "oppressive" home. He sent pictures of each room. Chris encouraged me to imagine the home without the gaudy decorating and the clutter.

"The house is a shell. Imagine it without their furniture. Look at the floor plan. Think of the potential."

I hesitated. Then I saw the wisdom of it. It made a lot of sense. I agreed, the house did have potential. We made a deposit and moved eight weeks later.

We arrived the day before the closing with all of our things in a huge truck driven by a friend. At the walk-through, the home showed no signs of a move. It was as cluttered as I remembered. I left the walk-through and sobbed. Something felt "off."

We learned that the home was in bankruptcy. The family hadn't paid their mortgage. The builder's brother was in jail for murder. The builder wasn't regarded well in the community. Something was seriously wrong.

Indeed the signs were literally on the walls of this home. In light of our past trauma, here are the questions I'll be asking this summer during our search.

• Do I want to live here?
• Does it feel like home?
• Do I sense anything "off"?

There are other questions I'll be asking, as outlined in the momsAWARE article Guidelines for Buying a Home.

It's possible we will stay another year in our current rental. We would rather wait than compromise. But I'm ready to move forward. Ready for the next stop on this uninvited journey. Ready to create a place of comfort, rest, and refuge.

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Twist of Fate?

In the midst of our search for temporary housing I am reminded of the quest we made to find a home in 2000. We were looking in the Colorado Springs area. The search was narrowed to two houses. Both beautiful. Both large. Both fairly new. Chris loved the one on Fawnwood. He and our two oldest daughters had discovered them on their cross-country house-hunting venture. Chris called me. "We like both of them. But I think the one on Fawnwood would work better. It backs up to a horse farm. It's on a quiet street. You would love it". Sounded great to me. "Go for it", I said. He put a bid on the home and offered the asking price. We were elated. He called the next day. They had begun their trip back to Chicago. "We didn't get the house". I was stunned. Another family put in a bid on the same day. (those were the days). The homeowner chose the other family. I could hear his disappointment. A week later I flew out to Colorado with him. We looked at the "other home". It was 5500 square feet. More than adequate to hold our family of 10. But as I walked through I had an ominous feeling. There were plenty of windows but it felt dark. We eliminated it as a possibility. We looked at other houses. Nothing worked. Nothing was big enough. We returned to Chicago and questioned our decision to move. We had already sold our home. It happened before we even put it on the market. (those were the days). So we HAD to move. The 'dark' house started to look brighter. What if we painted and re-carpeted? We bought the home. We moved into it June 7, 2000. A twist of fate? I don't think so. A stroke of bad luck? I don't think so. A bigger plan? I think so.
The first thing I did to decorate the new home was to have a verse painted on the wall in the entryway. " He gathers the lambs in His arms and carries them close to His heart." I believe it more than ever.

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Update

The home fell through yesterday afternoon. We were surprised by this and disappointed. Today we're confident that it's best for all of us. I think we have found a vacation rental that would work for our immediate future. I continue to learn more than I ever intended about disappointment including the fact that there is , indeed, life after it.

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